


free from restraint

by elios (zostir)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: (i hate this trope so i can't believe that's what i wrote), Character Study, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, is there a confession or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:54:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21691798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zostir/pseuds/elios
Summary: Leo was the last person Tsukasa wanted to see, and the person he needed the most.
Relationships: Suou Tsukasa/Tsukinaga Leo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	free from restraint

Tsukasa's sight was blurring.

How weird; up to now, his eyes were seeing correctly, but now they were clouded by a veil. He only realized it was a veil of tears when he heard the sound of his voice, hoarse and dull: "Thank you for informing me of the situation. I'll call you later, then."

He hung up and put his phone in his pocket. He didn't understand why he was crying. His father being in the hospital was terrible news; however, his health was poor, especially lately, and Tsukasa should have prepared for this situation. Besides, his father would be discharged in no time, the servant who called assured him. He only collapsed because of fatigue, so staying one night was only a precaution. Tsukasa didn't have to be that worried.

Still, he couldn't restrain his tears.

_I, too, must be tired_ , he thought, so he tried to calm down. A Suo couldn't cry over something so benign. But he was only a teenager, too young to master his emotions at his will.

Tsukasa received the call while heading for practice. It was rather unusual: his family wanted him to focus on his studies and refrained from calling him when he was at school. That's why he picked it up. Nevertheless, he wasn't in his right mind at the moment and his distraction could frighten his seniors' efforts during practice. They would worry if they saw him in this state. He had no choice but to be late. 

He leaned against the wall, trying to stop the tears. It was a real problem, and he'd have to work on his emotivity. He was, according to Anzu, more _expressive_ , but that didn't mean he had to break as soon as a problem arose. 

"Ah, Suo, what a coincidence! I was wondering where you were!"

Tsukasa raised his head and met a familiar green gaze. Out of all the people he was willing to talk to at the moment, his leader was the very last one on the list. He tried to wipe off the tears remaining in his eyes, but had the feeling Leo already saw. "He-Hello, _Leader_. Were you perhaps looking for me?"

His voice was firmer now, but the red of his nose and eyes were betraying him. Even Leo, that airhead, had to realize what was happening. "Huh? Suo, you're crying? What happened… No, don't tell me, let me imagine!"

Typical Leo, which was annoying. Yet Tsukasa said nothing; he didn't have the energy to deal with him. Nodding at the far-fetched proposition Leo would likely make would already be tiring, leaving aside the fact that it was his job to remind his leader to participate in Knights' activities and to go to practice - the same practice Tsukasa had to skip for now.

"Hmm… I don't think it has anything to do with aliens, so… Ah, I know! Someone in your family is hurting, right?"

Maybe it was the surprising accuracy of Leo's replies. Maybe it was the concern in his bright eyes. But Tsukasa went right back to crying.

For a few seconds, Leo stared at him, as if wondering what to do. Then he closed the distance between them, putting his arms around him, holding his shivering body tight. The embrace was warm, Tsukasa noticed, warm and comfortable, and he slid his arms in Leo's back. His leader patted his head, and for once Tsukasa liked it - liked the touch of Leo's fingers against his hair. It was unusual; _he_ was the one who took care of the other, bringing scores with him whenever he went out, ensuring Leo took a break if he was composing for too long, reminding him of their jobs. And while his seniors were taking care of him too, Tsukasa wasn't used to being pampered at all. But it was fine because Leo wasn't treating him as a child at this moment.

And his treacherous heart skipped a beat when he realized that.

So Tsukasa pulled away, feeling calmer, but Leo was still too close for his own good. "Thank you very much, _Leader_ , but you shouldn't concern yourself with me. I promise you this is no serious matter."

Leo frowned. "But, Suo, you're hurting too! Don't lie to me, you brat! Learn how to rely on your seniors!"

Tsukasa wanted to tell him he wasn't hurting. Sure, he was crying, and sure, his heart was heavy. However, it wasn't something that required the assistance of an upperclassman. Especially if said upperclassman was Tsukinaga Leo.

But Tsukasa _wanted_ to rely on him.

He couldn't explain this urge; it wasn't the only thing he didn't understand, actually. Whenever he was with Leo, he was overwhelmed with strange feelings and bizarre desires. For instance, he felt the need to make Leo smile, but he knew he was too stern to succeed. Even though he wanted to support Leo, all he could do was watch over him and help him with trivial things. He wanted Leo to consider him as a unique presence in his life, just as Leo was _Leader_ , the only one who could bear this title, the only one Tsukasa swore to serve - even though he was reluctant to do so, at first.

"Don't I already rely on all of you, _Leader_? I know I am inexperienced, and I learn a lot under your _guidance_. I am a better idol thanks to you. I believe it's enough, I wouldn't want to impose more."

Leo brushed Tsukasa's forehead with the tip of his finger, chasing away one of his red locks from his eyes. "Suo, you gave us so much, you don't realize you deserve more than our _guidance_."

Tsukasa felt his cheeks heating up, from the intimacy of the gesture and from the compliment. He had to correct Leo; he only picked up the broken pieces, and his seniors did the rest of the work. Knights was great because they were brilliant idols, all they needed was a little push.

"I-"

"No, no, let me talk! Obedient kids should stay quiet while adults talk!" Leo was a bit annoying with his jokes, but Tsukasa was used to being treated like a child by his upperclassmen, so he didn't raise it. "Suo, you're the only one who doesn't know how I used to be! You know nothing and you don't understand anything about Knights!"

Was this supposed to be positive, because Tsukasa sure felt upset about the accusation.

"And yet! You decided the past didn't matter! No matter how bloody and sinful was our path, you said it didn't matter. We couldn't find a reason to forgive ourselves, but you excused us anyway!"

Because Tsukasa didn't know. Because Tsukasa only saw the lights in a broken unit and realized this was what he was craving for. 

Leo was an eccentric, carefree guy. But when he talked about the history of his Knights, his distress became obvious. He was in pain, even now - so how could he say Tsukasa gave him what he needed? He wasn't saved yet.

"And you dare say you don't want to impose when in truth we are indebted to you! Right now, you're keeping us together. You're working for Knights' sake, not for your own!" Leo sighed. When he talked again, his tone has changed: even more serious, more vulnerable - and Tsukasa knew this was getting personal. "I… I want to give you something in return, you know? But I don't know what, and you refuse to let us in your life, so..."

Was he talking about his family business? It would be a bother if Tsukasa talked about it. He wasn't ashamed of being wealthy, but he knew he was spoiled and naive. Things that seemed normal at home turned out peculiar. Having servants was a norm in his world, but not in Leo's. He didn't want to be called a rich boy or a princess. He was a knight, a fighter, ready to fight at his king's command, ready to shed his blood for his lord. 

"Alright, _Leader_ , if you insist. You were right, my father has to spend the night at the hospital. But he should be discharged tomorrow, so you don't have to worry about me. The stress made me cry."

Leo's face lit up when he understood it wasn't that serious. "Then that's great! But…" He leaned closer, so that his face was almost touching Tsukasa's. "I'd understand it if you don't like me. I know, I know, you said you don't hate me, but that doesn't mean you like me, right?"

"Huh?" Where did this come from? Weren't they talking about relying on each other? Leo was so hard to follow sometimes.

"I get it, Suo! You're always so nice to me, so I tend to get carried away, but! Even if you think you can't confide in me, at least talk with Sena or Rittsu or Naru! I don't mind at all?"

Was it because Tsukasa refused to tell him about his father at first? 

"You see, Suo, I was different in the past! I wasn't a tyrant at all! I wanted the best for all my knights, especially Sena. I was ready to do anything for him." Tsukasa didn't want to hear about Izumi, but he couldn't stop Leo, not when his senior was suddenly confiding - even though he told Tsukasa to do it. "And I often think this is not fair for you, because I'm not giving you the same amount of concern than I used to. Before, I was careful about the others. I wanted to be loved as much as I love people. I've come to realize it's not possible, right?" Leo left a painful chuckle. "In the end, I was naive. People liked me for my music, not for myself. So why should I bother with their opinions, then? If my music comes first, then I should make it my priority. It's fine if my person isn't well-liked. It's fine if you don't like me."

Tsukasa's heart sank. Because for him, Leo's music always came in second; from day one, he only thought of the leader first. Admittedly, the image he built in his mind before meeting Leo was pristine, a recipient of his hopes and dreams that got crushed as soon as Leo called him an alien. And it was fine. Sure, Leo was childish and in his own world, but Tsukasa knew he was more careful of his surroundings that he let out. He would never reply to Tsukasa nagging him about their work, but as soon as Tsukasa taunted him, he was prompt to react. If one of his words hurt someone, Leo would try his best to make it up. Tsukasa knew that, no matter how annoying Leo could be, he was also the most gentle person he ever met. How could you overlook him and only consider his music? It was a mystery.

"I gave everything to Sena, but I can't do the same with you. I'm egoistic and only knows how to trouble you. But, if you-"

"Leader, this is _bullshit_." The colloquial word sounded weird on his tongue; Tsukasa was badly influenced by some of his acquaintances. 

Leo stared at him, too stunned to reply.

"You don't _trouble_ me. Alright, sure, you do trouble me a lot, and I'd love you to be more considerate, but I wouldn't attend you if I wasn't convinced you were worth it." He was the one supposedly consoled, but now the roles were reversed, and Tsukasa was once again taking care of Leo. But he didn't mind. If anything, he felt more at ease in this situation, his worries were washed away by the routine. "Please, don't change, _Leader_. You don't have to give me anything in return. Just be the same person as usual."

There was something Tsukasa didn't dare to say. _I fell in love with your_ liberty. Leo was free from all restraints; the youngest was sometimes a bit jealous of him, as he had so many things to take into account - his family, his seniors who were useless without him, his grades. But it was okay. Freedom suited Leo much more than him.

Leo held him again. This time, the hug was crushing. "Ah, thanks, Suo! I love you a lot!"

Tsukasa's heart started racing. But they were chest to chest, and he could feel a steady heartbeat responding to his.

"You shouldn't say that kind of things to everyone. But..." Hiding his smile in the crook of Leo's neck, he whispered: "I like you too, _Leader_."

He wasn't sure Leo heard him, but it didn't matter. "Now, _Leader_ , we should go to practice, or the others will worry about us."

Leo laughed. "Hey, I'm the king, I can do whatever I want! Let's skip together, Suo!"

"Don't say that or I'll overthrow you, _Leader_."

Well, it was fine. Tsukasa was feeling a lot better now, and it was all thanks to Leo. 

**Author's Note:**

> in my defense i've been corrupted


End file.
